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Farm team flys, A-team fails.

February 13th, 2007 - By William Leon "The King" Mackenzie

So old Bill is a blogger. My mother would be so proud. I can hear her now. “What the hell is that?” she would say. Well mother, at first I really didn’t know. Accordingly, I went to Snake River’s most famous scientist, Willy Bates Macron. At first he was speechifying regarding the how of the thing. More three-letter acronyms than potatoes at Pervis Spikes still. Eventually he realized who he was talking to, and went on to say, “Just act as if you were submitting an article for the world’s largest newspaper. A rag so colossal in its magnitude, that if each page were ever stacked end to end, the damn thing would go to the moon and beyond. Your discourse, although just one in ten billion, could be read by practically anyone and everyone.”

I think he thought that that last statement would make me nervous, so he chirped up with, “But not to worry Bill, most of the public that subscribes to this rag are just looking at the pictures of naked women.”

I asked if I had to get naked and he said, “Please don’t. In the same way that there are different sections in a newspaper, there is the naked bit, but a blog is like a daily dairy, and yours is to be about hockey.”

Fair enough then. Today I got up, let out Pal (my dog), and partook in my standard breakfast. One I like to call, “the hair of the dog”. What the hell has that got to do with hockey you ask? Well read on dear blogee.

Click To Enlarge On February 10, ought 7, the Skirr attend a tourney in Terrebonne Qc. Before I get into our story, I got this to say. This fine band of merry men and women who fly under the LHTAG banner will tell you themselves that they are not the strongest collection of players in the country. But considering all the miles our bus has put on in the last 3 years, we have never met a collective of shinnist’s that honoured the joy of the game more than this gang. And you heard me right, Men and Women. Perhaps a topic for a future rant, but for now I will get off this topic by noting vive le difference.

Now for my confession.

A couple of days before the games, the organizers wrote us requesting that we play our farm team. You know the ones that represent the River at LAHTO. The first reaction around our offices was, they must be nuts, and don�t they want to see Basie and Perkins, who are much too big to fit into those NHL uniforms? Why?

Much to our surprise we eventually realized we were ranked number one going in, and they thought that our farm squad would create a more level playing field. We have never flown at this altitude before and it made us light-headed and suspicious.

After the initial disappointment from our top two lines passed, we realized it would be a moment for our third string to shine. This was to be the hour of the Wild.

Well the bus arrived late, and we lost our first game to default. From there on this rag tag collection of washed-up has-beens (Ma Kettle in nets and Coach Elliot and Thin Norton on D) and delusional wanna bees (still operator Pervis Spikes and the La But twins up front) rolled through the opening round. We went 8-0-0-1 with a leading 2.00 GAA.

Finishing first was the first fatal blow to eventual success. Our victories gave us a bye in the first round of the playoffs. We had the won the advantage of sitting around.

This I know, idleness is the devils workshop. I had time to socialize. (Drink) I believe that with each new jug consumed I move onto a new sin. The inaugural vice is always vanity.

I got to a chattin with one of the other GMs and I guess my mouth got the better of me when I agreed to start our big line in the playoffs.

Well that might as well have been the nail in the coffin. First of all our lads had been sitting all day enjoying watching the third line go. They weren�t ready mentally. Most of them are getting long in the tooth so it�s like trying to crank a tractor in the winter. It takes time.

Unwittingly I destroyed some team chemistry. Why didn�t I let the farm team keep going? Undefeated in regulation. What was I thinking?

Fans of the River I can only plead for your forgiveness.

As you may have already surmised, we lost in the semi-finals to the Qc’s Patrick squad. They dug in hard and just plain beat us. Bully for them.

So the lessons of this day are as follows.

1) I must avoid alcohol for it is full of deception.

2) I must avoid hypocrisy. We here in the River try to encourage diversity in the grand old game. When we encounter diversity we must embrace it.

3) And for gods sake. Take home the same girl as you brought to the dance.

So that�s all got for now.

Merry Christmas to one and all.

Humbly yours;

Bill Leon “The King” Mackenzie.

One Response to “Farm team flys, A-team fails.”

  1. sklump Says:

    Too rich! Keep them coming!

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