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Garantie des droits et libertes

March 8th, 2007 - By William Leon "The King" Mackenzie

Attendu que le Canada est fonde sur des principes qui reconnaissent la suprimatie de Dieu et la primaute du droit.

Libertes fondamentales; Liberte de conscience er de relifion. Libere de pensee de croyance d opinion et d�espression.

Welcome Canada! Today submission is going to consist of one question about the Can Am Cup, preceded by a number of caveats.

My first perambulation. Sorry about the initial subterfuge. It was coach Elliot�s idea. He calls it his yank filter. He figured the francais would keep away the usa. He requested using our Charter of Rights and Freedoms as the text in case there were any Louisianians who were interested in table hockey out there. The backup filter.

So now that we are alone.

Our first real caveat from the River is as follows. It�s still kinda hard to admit, but now that it is all over … At last years event, of the starting six that played in the Snake River green FOR TEAM CANADA, only one calls himself a naturalised Canadian.

Right winger Count Basie, and goalie Pa Kettle are usa all the way. Lester, although the King of Canada in the sixties, was born in New York. As far as right winger Cosveldt Yokum is concerned, we think he is from Iceland? Milton Tooth carries a Canadian passport, but we all know he is a proud member of the Cree Nation.

Red Dowie, born right here in the River, was the only Canadian that drank from the cup last year.

Some of you may be up in arms, but don�t fool yourselves. They call Snake River home. The River is in Canada and our boys are beyond proud when they wear the maple leaf.

So we think the make up of the team gives us some ownership on the fence in this reliving of the 1812 war.

Moving on to more perambulation, if I said old Bill�s been banned from an establishment, I would guess a response would be and the news is? The news is I am not actually banned from the table hockey tavern, my secretary defines it as technical difficulties. Old Bill thinks, why should getting a drink be a problem? So it�s not so much that I don�t want to drink at your fine establishment, it�s just that I have not made the extra effort required.

A Perambulatory transition.

I have heard of some high talk coming out of the tavern, regarding the upcoming Can-Am Cup. Now again it�s all second hand news, and lord knows the things I�ve said under the influence, but all caveats aside …

Fellow Canadians. Please be careful not miss this most glorious opportunity.

From what I�ve heard we are asking the wrong question. The real issue is not whether we will beat the Americans, the real issue is how we will beat them.

Sometimes we can get complacent (drunk) and lose, but once bitten, and I will have more on that later, basically , there is no way. Top to bottom we are just too strong. We could throw Rex Murphy into the 9 hole and still win.

Our victory is inevitable.

But how are we going to do it? Are we going to show our battered opponent any mercy? Under certain circumstances, I may condone a violent boot. But we in the River plead that, however the task at hand is accomplished, it is done so with grace.

We could not only teach the vanquished a lesson by respecting their talents and unsatisfied efforts, but we could show some class by respecting for our own team members as well.

There will be the glorious nine in attendance but the team will consist of all Canadian brothers and sisters who are in attendance. We will remember the fans who went to Prussia in the last century and not soon forget their heroic sacrifice.

So my challenge to you Canada is kinda like dealing with Pickles. You see Pickles is one of Basie�s friend�s, Elma�s dog. And from time to time I will attend a Barbecue at the aforementioned madams house.

And she�s got this dog. And I mean I love Basie and Elma, and over the years I have got to like this stupid little dog. It�s one of those yappy mutts. Anywho, it�s got this habit of biting on my pant leg in hopes that I swing it around for a while. You know, like I am a merry go round for pets. At first it was fun, but then it would demand I do this all the time. Lets play lets play… and it kinda ripped my pants a little so …

From time to time, when Elma is not looking, I�ve given this dog a bit of my boot just to let it know where he and I stand.

And that�s the question Canada. What do you do with Elma�s dog Pickles? When it’s yapping away like that, I know I would love to send the scoundrel into the next back yard, but I am a guest at Elma�s house.

So in other words, how badly do you want to kick that dog?

Give it some thought.

One Response to “Garantie des droits et libertes”

  1. s klump Says:

    I don’t know, their top 8 has some seriously skilled hands. If I manage to make it into the CanAm Cup squad, I know I’ll have a tough time with the likes of Rzonca, Thill, Bernstein, et al. And once upon a time I vaguely remember carrying a lead on Dubois for about a minute before he put his drink down and caned me raw. I don’t think I’ve ever even managed that well against Caponetti or Marsik.

    Our top 8 are strong, but I think it is still too close to call.

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